I know that it's been quite a while since I last posted here but a certain in-strip event haa taken place that took time to digest: Mike's boy-meets-girl, boy-ascribes-insanely-horrible-and-cruel motives to girl, boy torments girl for pants-on-head stupid and stomach-churningly cruel reason, boy alienates girl, boy learns fuck all saga. The reason that this distracted me is that I think that his boneheaded shenanigans in which he witlessly mistreated Martha for less than nothing serve as something of a template for how Romance Is Fit in the Foobosphere. When one remembers that he's still vaguely pissed off at her for being who she actually is instead of the person he would like her to be and that he's the son of a clodhopper who, having noticed that his wife is and always has been a poor fit for domesticity, retreats into a shed lest he find out why, one can safely formulate rules that explains why they mess up so often:
Axiom 7a:
Upon encountering a person he or she finds attractive physically, a Patterson (or Patterson-like entity) assigns his or her love interests personality traits that he or she finds pleasing.
Axiom 7b:
When it comes to pass that he or she learns that this person is who he or she actually is instead of being the fantasy creature he or she is "supposed" to be, a Patterson is within his or her rights to be angry about being tricked by a cruel monster who deceived him or her by being his or her actual self.
